‘Accepting that, while there might be magical moments, birth may also be surprising and, at times, even mundane, we can begin to have a more realistic view of what is ahead of us. In fact, it’s pretty good practice for parenthood! Having some plans in mind but accepting that there will be much we can’t control sets us up brilliantly for our mothering journeys too.’
Read moreMy Positive Birth FOMO
‘So slowly over time I have practiced this feeling of FOMO, this shift to not being where I thought I wanted to be, often staying home with the kids while I live vicariously through my friends and their cool insta stories. And it has faded, dimmed, that feeling that I'm missing out. I started to focus simply on what I was doing and all the loveliness in that.’
Read moreLOVE your #Mumbod Mamas or your daughters will hate theirs
‘Girls naturally mature quicker and grow up faster anyway but now they are being bombarded with the wrong kind of messages during the soul searching part of their journey, they are having to deal with things they are not emotionally ready for. They are becoming confused and lost. Body image is a BIG issue.’
Read moreWhen breastfeeding ends...
‘The breastfeeding relationship between a mother and their child is so personal and intimate, only that beautiful dyad know what’s right. Whether you breastfeed for a few days or a few years, it’s about the two of you and doing what’s right for you both.’
Read moreWe're not 'us' anymore...when two become four
‘This hit me like a train the other day. I was sitting there thinking how me and the hubby desperately needed a date night, some time alone to ourselves, some time to reconnect and look each other in the eyes and feel the love. I kept thinking about how easy it all used to be.’
Read moreWhat does a doula do? Part Three
‘It is impossible for me to support a family in this intimate way without loving them. It’s not like loving your spouse, child or friend but it’s definitely love. It’s an emotional, private, personal and incredibly special time for the family and I get to be a part of it.’
Read moreHi my name is Jenna and I am a Night Time Parent (NTP). Hello Jenna.
‘Oh the shame, the shame of a child who doesn’t sleep all night, right??…Well I have had experience with two of these. My darling son didn’t sleep through until he was three and a half and my sweet daughter, now nearly four, has only just started doing the odd full night. Not ideal right? No, definitely, not ideal. Wrong? No not at all and there’s the important difference.’
Read moreMy five favourite parenting books
‘I am an avid reader of all things birth and parenting. I literally gravitate towards these shiny books covered in children and bumps. While my friends are reading cool fashion biographies and literary fiction, I can always be found losing myself in the world of parenthood. There are many, many books out there. For every single thing to do with birth and parenthood, you can pretty much find a book on it. This in itself can be a bit daunting. So I thought it might be a nice idea to share some of my favourite books.’
Read moreOxytocin and the dark night
‘Oxytocin is like a voyeur. Watching everyone else from a distance, checking who is paying too much attention, who is around, is it safe, are things relaxed, oh wait, maybe I need to back off...’
Read moreWhat does a doula do? Part two
‘Giving someone time says, 'I care about you'. I care what you have to say, what you're feeling, what you're going through and I care about all the little details of your life that you only really hear about when you spend time together and the generic conversation openers have all run out.’
Read moreSelf Belief is Your Super Power
‘Imagine what it would feel like to totally and utterly believe in yourself? Imagine how you would behave in the world? Confident, beautiful, strong, powerful, decisive, life grabbing, fearless.’
Read moreWhat does a doula do? Part one
‘Have you ever been listened to? Really listened to? I don't mean going out with with your girls on Friday night, downing prosecco and putting the world to rights. I mean, one on one, no interruptions, no judgement, just being heard? No one trying to tell their story, waiting for you to finish, no comparisons, just someone who is completely engaged with what you're saying, cares about what you're saying and quietly listens to you?’
Read moreYou. Are. Enough.
With the Summer holidays now upon us, I thought this was worth a reshare...
No, I'm not talking to you (although you are), this is not a positive affirmation to myself, I'm talking to my children. Yesterday I was bouncing around on the trampoline with my little monkeys, they love a bounce, we were giggling away and then it hit me...you're enough my darlings. There is nowhere I'd rather be right now, nowhere.
We were having a quiet afternoon at home and I felt unusually content. We often spend Monday afternoons at home on our own. It gives us time to adjust to the fun of the weekend winding down and move from a family of four to a family of three again. I can potter about and the kids, with full love cups after lots of Daddy time, are quite happy playing on their own, ish. Sometimes my mind wanders to what all the other Mums' I know are doing now, imagining them on awesome play dates and trips or making creative and imaginative crafts, while my kids have been looking for bugs in the back garden and watching telly...but I read something that really struck a chord with me the other day, 'we always compare the worst of ourselves, to the best of others.' (www.becomingminimalist.com)
I have to confess I am guilty of thinking the grass is greener. I try desperately not to be like this and work hard at being mindful and it is getting better but let's face it, being a Mum means drinking less and staying in more and doing lots of chores and yes sometimes, I want more!
It's taken me a long time to get to this point, this realisation that I'm actually hanging out with two of my favourite people in the world every day. Lucky me. I can now try and stop thinking everyone is having way more fun than me, leading a more exciting or exotic life than me, is doing something more important than me. I see people doing so much in their day to day lives, I sometimes question if I'm doing enough? But I realised I don't have to save the world on a daily basis, I just need to keep spreading the love to those around me. Kindness is kindness and it goes such a long way. I can reach out to a new Mum at a stay and play, smile at a Mum in the street, lift a buggy up the stairs at the station, help a Mum and her kids onto the bus, these little things make all the difference to their day and mine.
Being a Mum is important, being a child is important, you are enough my darlings, sometimes you're more than enough. X
Doula love
Jenna
@theminimalistdoula
Evidence isn't everything
'Pregnancy hormones soften the brain and body and allow right-brain activity to dominate. If a woman is nurtured during her pregnancy and allowed to surrender to this state, her whole body will act better during labour. Although medicine can help some women, it also hinders this particular opportunity; because of it's risk-reductive approach to childbirth it keeps women in a left-brain state of mind.'
Read moreDear Mum, I see you now
‘Since I was little you've been my rock, my super safe place where I can go when I need to feel loved and reassured. We've been through all sorts together through my lifetime and you've always stayed strong for me, protected me and given as much of yourself to me as you can and then a bit more. As I've grown up, through my teens and my twenties, our relationship has evolved and we went from mother and daughter to friends. Best of friends, a friendship like no other.’
Read moreAre we trying too hard at giving birth?
‘There has been a noticeable shift in birth preparation. Women seem to think that they have to do something to give birth. Get informed, get aligned, breathe in a certain way, like they're taking a test they need to pass. Everyone seems to have forgotten that birth is a natural process, an absolute right of passage, as natural for the body as going to the loo, it is a bodily urge to release your baby and bring them into the world. You don't have to do anything.’
Read moreIt's not all about you.
‘You can't afford to get caught up in all the usual high expectations you have placed on yourself. No, you won't be able to have everything together all the time and always finish that to do list. You won't be able to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister or friend.’
Read moreA positive birth does not mean an easy birth...
‘I can't beat myself up forever but I can make sure I never feel like that again and so that's what I did. I became a doula and had an amazingly healing second birth. I'm not saying everyone should run out and train as a doula, although the experience has been life changing for me, but I would say, forgive yourself, go gently and get the right support for next time.’
Read moreOur homebirth featuring Jason Bourne
‘Her ‘surge’ passes and she eventually calms down and returns to her Zen-like state. Maybe it was just a tough one. In my relief I briefly think about offering paracetamol as a joke but don’t take the risk. She pads back to the bedroom and I return to Bourne.’
Read more