Relax...'just' relax...
relaxation
/riːlakˈseɪʃ(ə)n/
noun
1.
the state of being free from tension and anxiety.
It’s not easy to relax on demand is it?
Sometimes someone telling you to relax has the opposite affect…
I was feeling twitchy last night, lying in bed restless, overthinking and trying to drown it out with mind numbing trash tv. I knew this wasn’t helping and was really bad sleep hygiene but that was just me avoiding my uncomfortable feelings and trying to cover them up...
So I decide to face them and acknowledge them and I tell hubs that I’m feeling antsy, which he knows means I’m feeling anxious and he says, ‘just relax babe’. Very easy for him to say as he doesn’t suffer with anxiety. Of course he means well but then passes out on me and I’m once again alone and not feeling at all relaxed.
Why IS night time such a trigger? It always feels bigger than it is at night doesn’t it?
One of the reasons anxiety can creep in at night is because things are finally quiet, there are no distractions and it might be the first time in the day you’ve actually stopped. Couple that with being alone in your own head and not having someone to bounce your feelings off, can make you feel a bit stuck and those thoughts might go on loop.
So I wanted to share a few quick ideas for you, how to get unstuck and hopefully find some peace, so if you do need to relax you might be able to...
Deep focused breaths for as long as you need to...until you’re focusing on your breath and not your thoughts
Horse lips - literally blow through your lips a few times like a horse, softens the jaw and releases tension
Sigh deeply a few times, let it go
Stretch, move, dance if possible, if you’re in bed, wiggle about, if someone’s asleep next to you, tense everything and release a few times
Listen to something soothing. For me I’m loving the conversations in Maisie Hill’s flow collective, really absorbs my attention
Be whatever it is you’re trying so hard not to - be scared, be anxious, be restless...let it come up, be with it and it will pass
Accept fear - we need it, it’s ok to feel it sometimes
Drink some water, always a good idea
Read some escapist fiction to refocus your thoughts
Actually do one of the above - we have to look after ourselves.
Doula love
Jen
Xx
Postnatal online course earthside out now
‘Guiding you gently through new motherhood’
www.theminimalistdoula.com