‘Oxytocin is like a voyeur. Watching everyone else from a distance, checking who is paying too much attention, who is around, is it safe, are things relaxed, oh wait, maybe I need to back off...’
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‘Giving someone time says, 'I care about you'. I care what you have to say, what you're feeling, what you're going through and I care about all the little details of your life that you only really hear about when you spend time together and the generic conversation openers have all run out.’
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‘Imagine what it would feel like to totally and utterly believe in yourself? Imagine how you would behave in the world? Confident, beautiful, strong, powerful, decisive, life grabbing, fearless.’
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‘Have you ever been listened to? Really listened to? I don't mean going out with with your girls on Friday night, downing prosecco and putting the world to rights. I mean, one on one, no interruptions, no judgement, just being heard? No one trying to tell their story, waiting for you to finish, no comparisons, just someone who is completely engaged with what you're saying, cares about what you're saying and quietly listens to you?’
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'Pregnancy hormones soften the brain and body and allow right-brain activity to dominate. If a woman is nurtured during her pregnancy and allowed to surrender to this state, her whole body will act better during labour. Although medicine can help some women, it also hinders this particular opportunity; because of it's risk-reductive approach to childbirth it keeps women in a left-brain state of mind.'
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‘Since I was little you've been my rock, my super safe place where I can go when I need to feel loved and reassured. We've been through all sorts together through my lifetime and you've always stayed strong for me, protected me and given as much of yourself to me as you can and then a bit more. As I've grown up, through my teens and my twenties, our relationship has evolved and we went from mother and daughter to friends. Best of friends, a friendship like no other.’
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‘There has been a noticeable shift in birth preparation. Women seem to think that they have to do something to give birth. Get informed, get aligned, breathe in a certain way, like they're taking a test they need to pass. Everyone seems to have forgotten that birth is a natural process, an absolute right of passage, as natural for the body as going to the loo, it is a bodily urge to release your baby and bring them into the world. You don't have to do anything.’
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‘You can't afford to get caught up in all the usual high expectations you have placed on yourself. No, you won't be able to have everything together all the time and always finish that to do list. You won't be able to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister or friend.’
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‘I can't beat myself up forever but I can make sure I never feel like that again and so that's what I did. I became a doula and had an amazingly healing second birth. I'm not saying everyone should run out and train as a doula, although the experience has been life changing for me, but I would say, forgive yourself, go gently and get the right support for next time.’
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