Co Sleeping Joy

No one ever really tells you about the good bit of co sleeping. There seems to be lots of rules and lots of fear but no one really says how good it is.

Well...I LOVE it.  As parenting decisions go this is in my top three. Co sleeping for me has been one of the most natural loving acts of my mothering journey.

I completely get it’s not for everyone and I would never advocate it is. I am a firm believer in we’re all made up of complex emotions and histories and each family need to find their balance with the myriad of parenting juggles.

But for me, co sleeping has made us.

I can vividly remember coming home on our first night home, night two of being parents and eventually getting to that time for Spud to do a little stint at night, and placing him down in our bed. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. The cot just didn’t.  Having him anywhere but within breathing distance, felt weird.  We were spooning on about an inch of mattress and Spud was asleep on the rest of the bed because, yes we were scared of smothering him…

There was definitely worry and paranoia at first especially tied up with birth trauma and exhaustion but slowly we relaxed into it.  Within a couple of weeks he was snuggled into my arm crook every night and I was at peace.

I’m sure we broke all the official co sleeping rules...but I didn’t even know what they were.  I just listened to my mama gut.  Keeping covers away, keeping the bed clear, having him on my side, a side cot next to me for rolling and safety, I mean it is common sense if you give yourself some space to think about it.

But what no one ever really talks about is the joy.  Of sleeping together, the closeness, the oxytocin, the snuggles, the reassurance and the safety.

Everything I read mostly makes co sleeping out to be dangerous but I never felt safer with my baby so close.  Being able to reach out and touch them, smell them, hear them breathe...

Some people worry about their sleep but never having to actually get out of bed worked for me and as for the marital bed so to speak, it’s different anyway for a time so why not get the added bonus of bubba cuddles. I’m not saying it’s not without it’s challenges of course, i’ve slept in some weird positions and not slept a fair bit but those night time sleepy snuggles are the best.

When Moo was born, it was simply a no brainer. She slept peacefully on my chest for the first six weeks of her life and I breathed in every second of it because I knew it wouldn’t be for long…turns out we have become a co sleeping family and often bed hop and still sleep with our kids most nights if they need us and I am so ok with it.

The doula in me would signpost you to the guidelines of The Lullaby Trust and the mother in me would say do what feels right for you.

Doula love

Jen

x

@theminimalistdoula